TV Review: 24 Season Premier

Warning! Reviews and Discussions may include Spoilers!

See old Jack Bauer ("Call me Grandpa")! See Jack drop the President's name! See Jack sneak through New York! See the old discarded mattress in the garbage! See Jack make it into a bandage for his wounded informant! See Jack Axe Attack! See Jack dodge bullets! See Jack dodge...um...a shoulder mounted rocket propelled missile?

24 used to be really excellent television. It hasn't been quite so excellent the last few years. This season still could go either way. I guess that is part of the fun. They've moved it to New York after pretty much trashing all of Washington, DC last season. Los Angeles took seven whole seasons to completely trash! But luckily, the President happens to be in New York at the same time as Jack. You'd think they'd outlaw that by now in the Jack-verse. "Sorry, Jack, the President has to come to town for a UN thing! You'll have to go to Idaho for a while. And we want you gone at least a week before she arrives and we'll be in touch about when you can come back, OK!" You would also think the head of CTU would get a clue about what happens when Jack shows up. "Uh, Jack Bauer's here? I'm not feeling too good. I think I might be out for a couple of days. And don't try calling me! My phone isn't going to be working either!" So we have the beginning of some kind of crisis, currently an assassination threat but sure to expand, and voila! A typical 24 setup.

Of course 24 is watchable whether it turns out to be actually good or if it just turns into another We Can Top Last Season With Bigger More Outrageous Threats to the City, the Country, the Planet, the Universe! (evil cackling) Because you can always play the 24 Jack-verse guessing games!

• Who is the CTU mole? I'm currently leaning toward Weaselly Computer Guy, because Girl Who's Not Really Who She Says She Is is too obvious. Besides, he's weaselly. And a computer guy.
• Who will bite the big one? I don't know that anyone is safe this time, even Chloe. It goes almost without saying that the head of CTU is a goner, and he deserves it because he's quite the dilweed, which is of course one of the job requirements for head of CTU. And Jack will die and be resurrected, though this is not to be confused with another 24 game: Who will come back from the dead? I was surprised that Freddie Prinze made it through the first show. He's either gone or they're planning on him taking over for Jack. I expect that Weaselly Computer Guy and Girl Who's Not Really Who She Says She Is won't make it. I have my doubts about Secretary of State Ethan. He already acts like he's dead. And Generic Middle Eastern Country Brother With Bad Hair. Because he has bad hair. And Tony! Yeah, kill Tony again! Maybe more than once!
  
• Who is behind it all? There are a lot of candidates for this one. There's Generic Middle Eastern Country Brother With Bad Hair. There's Generic Middle Eastern Country Spurned Wife. There is Generic Middle Eastern Country Daughter With Few Lines. Or maybe Far Too Young To Be Chief Of Staff Guy. Since this is 24, you can't rule out characters we haven't seen, like The President's Ex-Husband, The President's Daughter, Generic Middle Eastern Country Father, Mother, Father-in-law or Mother-in-law. Or maybe CTU itself is the bad guy! All of CTU is the CTU Mole! Because on 24, more of anything is better! But I'm going with Reporter Woman, because it can be part of the Fooled you once, fooled you 27 times 24 theme. She's really suspicious! No, she's just having an affair with the Generic Middle Eastern Country President! She's really an assassin after all, but she works for someone completely different! Oh, sorry, she works for the government and was trying to save the Generic Middle Eastern Country President! Oops, turns out she's really the Ultimate Criminal Mastermind, and a weapons expert and super-duper black belt Kung Fu expert as well!
  
• What is the bad guy's motivation? Right now I'm thinking that the Vaguely Russian Terrorist bought a bad refrigerator from the Generic Middle Eastern Country President and had some borscht go bad killing his entire family!!! Because, you know, there has to be some reason they explicitly stated that Generic Middle Eastern Country President was an appliance salesman before going into politics.